Relapse"
by deathwraith
Summary: yaoi, 1x2x1, 3+2 Trowa POV when he has to destroy DScythe. Sequel to "Symptoms of Withdrawal".


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RELAPSE

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Warning: really short 1x2x1, 3+2 Trowa POV, sequel to "Symptoms of Withdrawal" and "A Couple of Cravings"

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Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to other people, powerful corporations and my lawyer doesn't want to know anything about this.... Song "Angels Don't Cry" belongs to Talk Talk.

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i try to remember a kiss

and I only get sorrow

and yesterday's faded away

and there's only tomorrow

and everything passes and changes

and comes to an end i know

but nothing is written but old news

again and again

i know that it's true

there's too many tears

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How do you execute your lover? Can you look into those evening eyes that have held you slave in fascination and pull the trigger because your training tells you to? Does that bloody and battered body, beaten but unbowed not tempt you still? Can you terminate whatever possible future may exist, hope unforeseen, without hesitation? Without doubt? Can you be the one who finally kills Death?

Yet your job is easier than mine. You will kill his body. I am desecrating his very soul.

I had thought telling Quatre that I loved him was the hardest thing I could ever do in my life. I am never good with words. I cannot express myself adequately to show my feelings, deepest emotions. And I was scared. Such fear! I am not good enough for him, I am nothing. No one. I know that. I battled myself over this. Agonised for weeks. Never fearing when Catherine's knives flew at me, I found myself frozen at the idea of saying those three words to him. Maybe it was the thought of my 'sister' that finally helped. I did not fear the knives because I trusted her. And, I trusted Quatre. So I told him. He did not reject me, instead, he completed me. Almost.

"What's the matter, Trowa Barton? Fire at the target!!"

"Lend me that beam cannon."

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but angels don't cry

now i see a face in your eyes

but you don't remember my name

we're always a step out of time

now ain't that a shame

and you've been alone for too long

and nobody cries

if you want to see all of my tears

take a look in your eyes

This was his soul. His greatest love. The one he trusted more than anyone, more than Heero. This dark, lethal-looking machine that seemed swathed in shadows and secrets, proud despite the obvious damage. So much like its pilot. I closed my eyes and opened them, trying to focus on the range-finder. My vision kept blurring. I heard his voice, deceptively happy as he chattered away to his best buddy, delicate fingers running expertly over wiring with one eye glued to the systems read-out. Fixing, repairing, constantly upgrading. Nothing was good enough for his dark companion as he tweaked and invented improvements that baffled the rest of us. The stealth mode was his creation. Anytime we were tempted to write off our boisterous comrade as undisciplined, unprofessional, that one thing alone was a reminder that he was much more than he seemed. Like his soul-mate. And I don't mean his lover.

"What!!"

"It's made of gundamium alloy. A Leo rifle isn't going to do the job."

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i know that it's true

believe it or not

but angels don't cry

i know that it's true

there's too many tears

but angels don't cry

i could walk away 

or i could walk on by

or make it all come true

or say it's all a lie

there's no more tears

He is gone, has to be gone. Dead and I've destroyed his soul. Never to see that smile again, feel my spirit lift with his laughter. Never to be able to touch him, even if only in my fevered imagination, my hidden desire. Dieu, what have I done? And if Duo does somehow survive, he won't want to live without Deathscythe. He will be hollow, soulless. An empty, spirit. A walking shroud. _Death, be not proud...Die not, poor Death...._

Huh? What's this? Those sparkles......they're my tears....

Yuy may have performed an execution. I've committed sacrilege. 

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when you're out of time

and i might fade away tonight

if you close your eyes

i know that it's true

believe it or not

but angels don't cry

i know that it's true

there's too many tears

but angels don't cry

i could walk away

i could walk on by

or make it all come true

or say it's all a lie

Author's Note: I am strong supporter of 3x4 / 4x3, but am also fascinated by the fact that Trowa - the expressionless one - cries in the series. Why? Only when he destroys Deathscythe.


End file.
